Saturday, December 22, 2012

Thick Skin...Maybe Not.

Okay, so maybe my skin isn’t as thick as I thought it was…like most I can admire the genius behind the impossible flight of an awkwardly disproportionate bumble bee. It’s amazing to find out nature can defy physics and make the impossible…possible. But when the fear of being stung out-weighs the admiration of true nature, that’s when I tend to get nailed.

The bumble bee, whose wings appear to be too small to keep its massive body in the air and a body which lacks any defined attempt at aerodynamics, and yet, it hovers, flies, and lands on the most delicate of places. The bumble bee spends its day depositing and taking pollen to create the sweetest nectar. It lives its existence, doing what’s in its nature, simply because it is designed to do it. When it’s threatened or its queen is threatened it will protect her, often with the sacrifice of its life. It dies to do what’s in its indisputable nature.

Sometimes, I feel like a bumble bee…yeah, that’s right, a bumble bee.

I wanted to write, so I wrote like it was in my nature. No, I wasn’t born into a family of writers or ever dreamt of being a writer when I was younger. One day, I just had an urge, stronger than a desire, to write, so I wrote. Like the bumble bee, I never knew my wings were too small for my body. I wrote without knowing anything about what I was or wasn’t supposed to do or believe.

And just as nature supports the business of the bumble bee’s intentions, it has and continues to support me in my purpose. Yeah, I have days where I feel I have to justify and protect my writing. There are moments when I feel threatened, hurt, and misunderstood. When stranger’s words find ways to pierce deeper than any stinger could drive in my skin. Sometimes their words roll off my back and sometimes their words get stuck in the nectar I’ve decided to take back to my hive.

But I will say…there are more days I feel, supported, loved, happy, and completely appreciated. Days where the words that blanket my computer screen encourage me to keep going. Moments where tears cluster in my eyes because I’ve written a story that touches people’s lives deeper than I could have ever imagined.

Nothing is more powerful than the words we say, thoughts we think, and intentions we act upon. So when hours shuffle into days, I truly appreciate every moment my readers have taken to write me a note, an email, a review, or a comment. And just like the bumble bee, which doesn’t think of itself as anything more than a worker/producer, I keep my intention on writing the stories that crowd my head. When I need motivation to continue, I find it. When difficulties appear, I get out of the way of my insecurities and doubt. And I will never forget how conventional science points out every reason why a bumble bee shouldn’t be able to fly…and yet it keeps defying scientific reasoning.

Stretch your wings, try something you’ve put off too long. And remember just because it hasn’t been done before, doesn’t mean it can’t; it just means you haven’t discovered a way…yet.

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